Saturday, February 26, 2011

Why didn’t someone tell me? Help for expectant and new parents for the 1st few weeks

You know the second you tell people you’re expecting people start pouring on the advice. Of course they’re trying to be helpful, but a lot of their “helpful tips” may turn out to be the last kind of wisdom you want. So we’ve started a series we call “Why didn’t someone tell me…?” that includes feedback from other parents who have “been there and wiped that”! From buying a stroller to treating teething, each month we’ll hit on another topic of parenting that you may be wondering about, offering words of wisdom from at least five moms and dads who survived the frustrating maze of parenthood. This month, the topic is the first few days when the baby comes home.

Tip #1: I remember being upset about my daughter crying so much just after being born and not sleeping very long... wanting to feed ALL THE TIME. I was worried that I was spoiling her by going into her room when she cried out. I couldn't let her cry too long but people were telling me to let her cry. I called my mom and she gave me the best advice... she told me to go with my instinct and my heart and to not worry what other people were telling me.

Tip #2: Every mom, on more than one occasion, after a rough day of a baby crying, locks herself in the bathroom and cries for a minute, too. That’s ok for a few minutes. If you feel like this much longer or need help, get it…from a neighbor, a family member, a friend, or a baby nurse if you need it. Just be sure to take care of yourself right along with the baby.

Tip #3: In the first couple of weeks/months, EVERYTHING changes often. Good and bad things. If your baby is a cranky mess and you think you are going to die, give it two weeks, it WILL get better. Conversely, if you brag that your baby is an amazing sleeper at 4 days old, give it two weeks. Hopefully it will continue, but the only thing you can truly count on is that as soon as you think you've gotten it figured out, it all changes.

Tip #4: Do NOT remove price tags from baby clothes until you are putting them on the baby. The kid might outgrow stuff before it's the right season to wear it. Everything is easier to exchange if you still have tags attached.

Tip #5: The days are long but the years are short! And no one accurately relayed to me how tired I would be. I had no idea what sleep deprivation was and by the time I did, I had no coping skills. It's impossible to nap every time the baby sleeps, and even then, that's not enough sleep. I actually had to come up with a schedule with my husband to handle night feedings, etc. It worked!

We hope these tips help make life a little easier for you when your baby arrives, or if he or she is already here, maybe you’ll find some comfort in the suggestions. If you have a “Why didn’t someone tell me …” suggestion, please tell us the next time you’re at the store and we’ll try to include it in a future post.

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